3 Ways to Beat Stress for Working Caregivers

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LeAnn Thieman, LPN

Are you one of the 54 million Americans who care for a family member? Do you tend to a loved one before going to work, and then return to care again after a long hard day on the job? Feeling torn between both "jobs" and trying to perform well at each causes so much stress that working caregivers are plagued by more mistakes, conflicts and stress-related illnesses. These simple tips will help ease your stress.

Talk to your employer honestly about your caregiving stresses

Make an appointment to talk to your supervisor about your caregiving demands at home. Discuss this at a time when you are better rested and feeling your strongest so you can explain the situation in a professional, emotionally controlled manner.
Offer reasons—not excuses—for changes in your attendance, work schedule or attitude that your supervisor may have noticed.
Explain why you may need to turn down opportunities such as overtime, promotions or transfers.
Reassure your supervisor that you are committed to the company and its peak performance, and that you remain accountable to your duties. Once you've reinforced your commitment to the job, your employers will be more receptive to ideas to make the workplace and schedule more manageable for you.
Ask for what you need. Come prepared with suggestions that will help-for example, perhaps you could come to work early; stay late; work from home; or take longer lunch hours to check on your loved one, make personal phone calls, or take a nap!
Brainstorm other workable options with your supervisor. Often employers allow flexibility in the use of comp time, sick days and vacations. Many organizations let fellow employees donate their accrued time off to help caregivers during crisis times.

Take care of yourself—your brain-injured family member depends on you being healthy

Caregivers have higher-than-normal incidents of illness. If you're taking care of someone with a chronic illness, you have a 63% chance of dying early, and 63% of caregivers say depression is their most common emotion. Caregivers often become so depleted they cannot maintain the stamina to continue caring for their loved one. Therefore, you must take time daily to nurture yourself physically, mentally and spiritually.

Physically:

Eat well-balanced meals on a regular schedule. See "5 Ways to Make Quick and Healthy Meals" for simple ideas for eating well.
Take a daily multivitamin.
Exercise regularly, even if it's simply taking a walk.
Sleep for a minimum of seven to eight hours a night and nap when possible if needed.
Get regular medical checkups and treatments for aches and pains before they turn into something more serious.

Mentally:

Pay attention to your own feelings and emotions and seek counseling if needed.
Keep emotions in check at work. While it's impossible to always leave the stress and heartache in the parking lot, try to vent feelings to trusted family members or friends, not coworkers.
Schedule time for yourself.
Use relaxation or stress management techniques, such as meditation, visualization, biofeedback and yoga.
Stay actively involved with friends and hobbies.
Create a support network and/or join a support group. If you're caring for a brain-injured loved one, talk with other people coping with similar situations in the Brain Injury Family Resources forum.

Spiritually:

Take time, even as little as 15 minutes per day, for prayer or meditation.
Read or subscribe to inspirational magazines or books to uplift your spirits. Seek the counsel of a minister or religious leader you trust and respect.

Ask for help with your caregiving duties

Seek support from friends and family. Friends, family, and church groups are often eager to assist and only need to be asked and directed.
Find respite care so you can regularly take time out for yourself. There are countless community, state and national resources to support you not only at work, but at home. Most cities have programs to offer assistance to the caregiver. With the passage of the National Family Caregiver Support Program in 2000, all Area Agencies on Aging have a mandate to address the needs of family caregivers.
Take unpaid leave through the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) if needed. This national policy guarantees covered employees 12 weeks of unpaid leave each year to care for a newborn baby, a newly adopted child, a seriously ill family member, or to recover from their own serious health condition while ensuring their job security. Each state has different regulations. To learn about yours, call your state legislator.

Want more ideas?

National Family Caregiver's Association
www.nfcacares.org

Area Agency on Aging
|http://www.n4a.org/about-n4a/?fa=aaa-title-VI

LeAnn Thieman LPN, CSP, CPAE is coauthor of Chicken Soup for the Caregiver's Soul as well as two editions of Chicken Soup for the Nurse's Soul and eight other titles. She is a nationally acclaimed motivational speaker recently inducted into the Speaker Hall of Fame. To learn more about caregiving issues, her books or presentations see www.LeAnnThieman.com.

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