Q: My son and my husband were involved in a car accident and are in the hospital in intensive care. Both have brain injuries but I don’t know how bad yet. I’m exhausted and confused. Our medical bills are skyrocketing with no end in sight. I have no idea whether they will ever be able to return to school or work. My son may require long-term medical and custodial care. I know our financial future is in jeopardy. But right now my nerves are frazzled and I don’t want to face these concerns and don’t know where to turn next. I just want to be with them at the hospital. I don’t know what I need to do. Is there anyone I can turn to who can help me with all this?

Molly H.,  Nevada

 A: Oh, Molly, I’m so sorry that your family is going through this. Yes, you definitely need help. I’ve asked Garry Prowe, author of soon-to-be-released, Successfully Surviving a Brain Injury, to respond to your question. He’s been studying how survivors and their families survive brain injury. He also bases his reply on the experiences of caring for his wife, Jessica, who acquired a brain injury over 10 years ago. Here are Garry’s suggestions.

“Molly, an attorney can sort through the complex and time-consuming maze of financial, insurance, and legal matters you’re about to encounter. If there’s the possibility of a lawsuit—for or against your loved one—this question is easy to answer. You need an attorney now. Your lawyer will gather evidence about the events causing the injury; collect police reports, photographs, and witness testimony; establish legal responsibility and monetary damages; and try the case. Otherwise, the decision to hire an attorney demands some thought. Let’s consider your situation.

First, you’re facing an intimidating pile of paperwork and rounds of trench warfare with your health insurance company and, possibly, your Workers Compensation, automobile, homeowners, long-term care, and umbrella insurers. They’ll be looking to minimize their liability. You must be prepared to fight for your rights.

Second, if your husband is employed, you must file for disability benefits with his employer, any private disability insurance he may have, and with the Social Security Administration. These folks will be in no rush to write you a check.

Third, if your son is older than eighteen years of age and unable to make medical, financial, and legal decisions for himself, you must get permission from the courts to make these decisions for him. Neither a spouse nor a parent automatically becomes the guardian of an incapacitated adult.

Fourth, you may need to arrange for the long-term care of your son who may outlive you by decades. This includes estate planning and a special-needs trust.

Many of these crucial matters must be dealt with quickly. They all must be handled accurately.

Attorneys are compensated in one of two ways: an hourly or pre-determined fee, or a contingency agreement. With a contingency arrangement, the lawyer will represent your family members for a percentage of the money collected. This enables you to hire an attorney with no money upfront and pay the lawyer only if you win. If a large monetary settlement or insurance payment is not likely, an attorney will represent your individual’s interests with insurance companies and the courts for an hourly or pre-determined fee.

Hiring a competent attorney will give you the peace of mind that these matters are being handled well. It also will eliminate a potentially huge source of stress in an already nerve-racking time. Best of all, it will give you more time to spend with your survivors, with your family, at your job, or taking care of yourself. The downside, of course, is that an attorney will cost you money. If this is an issue, there may be government or nonprofit organizations in your community that offer free or low-cost legal advice. If you need more information about how to hire a good attorney, check out the Brain Injury Family Resources Self-Help section.

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