Am I losing my mind?

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Q: I think I'm losing my mind. I knew I'd have extra stress when Dad moved in with me after his stroke, but this is not anything I expected. I can't remember anything anymore—not even my regular chores that I've been doing for years. I start doing something and if somebody says something, I get distracted and lose everything that was in my mind. It's happening at work too and that scares me. Is this something that's caused by stress or am I getting something like Alzheimers? I'm starting to worry about it.

Hal P. N. Dakota

A: I think I know just how you feel, Hal. Life is pretty complicated for most of us at "normal" times so adding the stress of caring for a loved one amplifies that. Exhaustion and overwork have a great deal of impact on our mental processes—causing forgetfulness, lack of focus and even emotional sensitivity to events that you would have barely noticed if you weren't already struggling with exhaustion.

I like to think of these mind blanks this way. If you have a glass of water and it's about half full, you don't have much trouble carrying it across the room. If you start adding water—like the extra worries, emotions and exhaustion that's come into your life with caregiving—the water level rises in your glass making it increasingly hard to carry across the room. Pretty soon the water is slopping out as you walk. You are like that glass of water—there's too much in your life right now to easily handle—so your mind starts slopping over, losing information and focus.

The best thing you can do for yourself is some quiet down time. Go for a walk, watch a funny movie, take some time off from your caregiving duties if possible, lunch with a friend, work on a hobby—this gives your mind a chance to rest. And it also helps to realize this is a part of "caregiver exhaustion" and your response is normal. Check out other tips for caregivers here. www.braininjuryfamily.net/self-care-tips-for-busy-caregivers/

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